RhIaLIrIn's Xanga

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Tue, 21 Oct 2008 18:50:15 GMT

I really dont think you know.
You might have an idea, but I really dont think you really know.

What is going on with me? This is even more unlike me than anything Ive done before.
I think I want to talk to you. This might ruin it for me, but hey, Ive never been too smart with doing the right thing at the right time. I dont think..

I just want you to know, because I would much rather have you carry this in the back of your mind than have myself carry it all and overload my heart.

with love,
room 633

A review of my old Xanga entries

Sat, 18 Oct 2008 04:34:03 GMT

-When I first moved to Pennsylvania, the nights seemed unusually dark to me.
-I used to swear???
-People thought I was a "goodie two shoes" and I have a perfect life, family and grades.
-Taking basketball pictures for the yearbook = awesome =)
-I used to have a Whimit.
-Hahaha.. I was so patient with children.
-I'm addicted to Trigun

I'm still looking for my humanoid typhoon.

-I guess I had an inside joke with Rachel about "the cheese getting old"?
-I developed an unhealthy love for cornmuffins in middle school
-Sora...
-Hahah my cousin is only the best ever... haha freaking Matt.
-I used to do track.
-Apparently, I didn't ever like it when somebody though they knew how I felt, especially because they didnt.
-MemeGen!
-I found out That 70's show is in Wisconsin
-I used to do quote of the note
-Geometry was annoying?
-hahaha "if I ever hear the word 'love' again, I'll flip out"
-My grammar has much improved since the beginning of time.
-Whacking people on the head with glowsticks, quoting the seven hellz,
-"Eagles 24: Vikings 7 // we got this"
probably my most exciting season of football to date
-Rolling Kansas made me laugh my butt off
-oh man.. freshman year "One day, I'm gonna steal all the calves in the world...AND SHAUN'S HOODIE!"
-Hahaha Ian Strong is my inspiration for Haikus

-"That sexist asshat" haha I like the high school freshman me.

-I used to use xanga to write out things I dont think I would be able to tell people
-Wow I haven't heard the name Matt Micklow in a while
.......thank goodness.
-Story of every high school relationship I've witnessed:
"oh i have a boy/girlfriend, and I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!" then two weeks later they're like "I hate that SOB!" or "Oh Him/Her? I've moved on, i mean thats the past Now I love my CURRENT BOY/GIRLFRIEND!! WE'RE SOULMATES!!" and it starts all over again..
-I wonder who I refered to as "Gorgeous"

What I do miss about Vlad- making mornings before school more exciting
What I dont miss about Vlad-
"Vlad: What? I'm only going..*looks at meter* 70 on street road
Me: ITS A 45 ZONE!!
Vlad: So?"

-What happens when I forget to put the word "no" in front of things:
"Yeah, cause I just think- Sex until marriage"
-I refuse to properly answer questions =/
-I'm a hopeless romantic.
-I almost got run over by a car
-There is one person I know who has always believed in me, and still does, who will appreciate my being no matter what I do or what happens between us. There is one person who has absolute faith in the good in me, and it is times like these which make me want to be as good as he expresses I am.
-I was friends with a pedophile when I was 14
-ES ruled my life for a bit
-There is one person on this planet who could so quickly change my mood from fantastic to depressed and emo
"Failed Heterosexual"
-Obsession with Gravitation..
-I used to hug Shaun so much somebody online made a comic about it. Haha good times.
-Football season was the most exciting time of the year <3
-I was a silly poet.
-LMAO apparently I've never been good with guys, and I quote, "I have a really good(hot) friend, and he keeps asking me out, and he called me today and said since we like eachother, we should go out and he made me give him my final answer... soon. I really do like him, but I really dont want to go out with him (or anyone) and I already told him... but I'm not good at rejecting people -_-" Sept. 03, 2005
Hahah of course this was before even my first kiss.
-It doesnt take that much to be creative. Sometimes, its possible, even from you <3
-Greenstone Goblins. Enough said =)
-It's funny reading about somebody I met very casually, who later became a little bit of a big part of my life.
-According to the newly sophomore me, Douglas Adams is my book King.
-This is the second time I mentioned 12:36-
-Wait, what am I talking about?! I'll be with my brother and mother like I always am! 12:36, I'm calling someone, -on NewYears, beware... watch your clock for 12:36 <3!
-I like to leave out specifics sometimes.
-Fanfiction..
-Maybe I started opening up to people because of one person. Maybe thats something I need to keep under control.
-Marching band holiday party..

-"You have to take a step back and look at things in the whole" "What if I can't see everything?" "Then take a few more steps back" "But I'm near sighted..." ">< Then keep walking back until you fall off the emotional cliff that will lead you into your pit of stupid things you say."
hahah...I wonder who said what.

-I have a very testy temper... I showed the first physical signs of it on xanga February 3, 2006
-The fork-knife battle
-Nate's letter
-You used to be my friend...
-hahahahaha... here is part of my teacher's discussion of syntax,
Mr. O: Greg, ask me what time it is.
Greg:...... what time is it?
Mr. O: CHEESECAKE!

-Speaking in Caps Lock.
-I'm sensitive about my cooking.
-Cheesy pickup lines
-Friday, March 24, 2006 - I hate Mau. Every other day of my life, its my favorite card game in life
-I express laughter when I am angry
-07 Seniors, my closest enemy I love the most
-Super Sexy Waitor Sean!
-Inside jokes of my people..
-Quotes of William Tennent (library)

hmmm :] Well there we go, and lets go again!

People of the world

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 16:44:18 GMT

To someone you might be a treasure coated in awesomeness.. but how will they ever know if you dont show them?

Is it just the human need to want to be reminded of things constantly..but not too often?

On the other hand, your world might be curling itself up into the fetile position miserably because of something that a person does not even look at as a problem. Because your treasure coated in awesomeness completely disregards your projections of greatness.. because he or she does not even realize how effective a look can be, you end up burried in your own overreactions and misery?

So why is it that sometimes, even though we are treasured by one, we look elsewhere for an idol of our own?
Should it not be enough to be the muse of somebody's heart already? Or are we looking for something more. Do we want to be the one and highest subject on their minds, coating all their hearts?
Unsatisfied with what we recieve? Then why should we search for another who gives us much less? Yearning for affection from all sides of our lives I suppose.

Yearning. Affection. Overreaction.
Story of my fliptastic life.

It's not like this one's totally aimed at you Ricky...

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 03:23:00 GMT

Songs? Peaceful ones.. stretching/relaxing..?

any good ones?

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:47:09 GMT

I love Rain.

Its so many memories. Its so much happiness in a puddle. So much like the things I do everyday, except the whole world gets to experience it all at once.

We practiced in the rain for about 2 1/2 hours today.

word of yesterday as provided by Dictionary.com:
bevy \BEV-ee\, noun:
1. A group; an assembly or collection.
2. A flock of birds, especially quails or larks; also, a herd of roes

Friday, September 05, 2008

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 23:17:10 GMT

Sometimes if you use simple words in long sentences, people get confused and change it around in their heads.

Thats okay. All of a sudden, I feel great. Like literally I was really tired all day and then I resolved a problem with my friend because of a miscommunication, and the rest of the night I had uber energy. I was jumping around during Marching Band Practice.

If you have a problem, or you think somebody does.. talk. Give them a day, maybe two, and then ask them to meet you so you can talk.

Surprise! <7

Thus begin my upcomming years

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:08:54 GMT

Word of the day, as provided by Dictinary.com:

immolate \IM-uh-layt\, transitive verb:
1. To sacrifice; to offer in sacrifice; to kill as a sacrificial victim.
2. To kill or destroy, often by fire.

Which means I have to finish this blog by midnight, or else it wouldn't be the word of the day anymore.

Next time I'll do the word of yesterday.

What if I could understand my life. And what if I could make decisions that will make the world, myself and the people around me better? And what if I could arrange my words so people would understand what I am trying to say.
What if I could forget about the good people in my past, who turned into people I want to forget but probably never will. What if I wasn't such a hopeless romantic? Or what if I actually allowed somebody to love me for once.
What if I stopped being naive, or what if I stoped thinking and over thinking or overlooking? Can I stop throwing around plastic smiles, or false words and empty laughs?
What does it mean to be true or real in this day. What does it mean to be respectful, Chivalrious, or grammatical?

what does it matter.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Tue, 25 Mar 2008 11:06:39 GMT

Word of the day, as provided by Dictionary.com-
repine

Brooklyn, home of my Souull

Wed, 19 Mar 2008 16:10:09 GMT

Taking an extra twenty minutes or so to walk around Manhattan before you go home, right after you get off the Train from another State, is such an amazing thing..
Knocking outside your apartment door for about 15 minutes because your brother is blasting the same song into his headphones for half an hour, and your Grandmother is washing clothes in the bathroom... not so amazing, but even so funny..
Watching your brother, you have not seen in approximately three months, listen to his music, fill out questionnaires on a website, figuring out how many of the questions you have the same answers to, for about 10 minutes, is a certain thing I would like to explain as bonding <3..
Talking to your Mother, dearest, whom you have not seen in much too much, for 5 minutes before you go to sleep feels like one of the most calming things I have experienced in a while.

That night I slept like a babe. Did not take over an hour to fall asleep and I did not wake up every hour or so after falling asleep.

I am not so sure I enjoyed the subway as much as I did last night...and I do not think I have had a shorter seeming ride hooomme!

Until the end of April, No:
Meats,
Sweetss (Dessert-type things)

I slept beautifully (until 'bout an hour ago..)
and now I am going to go work out beautifully with my beautiful cousin ;)

<333333333
Luv Ya'll!

Going to New York

Tue, 18 Mar 2008 21:35:40 GMT

Train at 7.15

Leaving: Today
Coming back: ???

any last words?